- Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee.
2. Law of Gravity – Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.
3. Law of Probability – The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of Random Numbers – If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.
5. Variation Law – If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.
6. Law of the Bath – When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.
7. Law of Close Encounters – The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
8. Law of the Result – When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, IT WILL!!!
9. Law of Biomechanics – The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
10. Law of Physical Surfaces – The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
11. Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy – As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it!
12. Doctors’ Law – If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there, you’ll feel better. But don’t make an appointment and you’ll stay sick.
