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Laws of Inverse Negative Dynamics

murphys law

  1.  Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee.

    2. Law of Gravity Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.

    3. Law of Probability The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

    4. Law of Random Numbers – If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.

    5. Variation Law If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.

    6. Law of the Bath – When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.

    7. Law of Close Encounters The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

    8. Law of the Result When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, IT WILL!!!

    9. Law of Biomechanics The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

    10. Law of Physical Surfaces The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

    11. Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it OR the store will stop selling it!

    12. Doctors’ Law If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there, you’ll feel better. But don’t make an appointment and you’ll stay sick.

 

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All Great Truths Begin as Blasphemies

Great Truths

This is a departure from my usual comment on the mortgage market and the economy.  However, the more I think about it, maybe not that much of a departure.

  1. In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. — John Adams
  1. If you don’t read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.–Mark Twain
  1. Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself. –Mark Twain
  1. I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. –Winston Churchill
  1. A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. –George Bernard Shaw

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